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Nearest and Dearest

August 9, 2017 Leave a comment

emb7  Do you ever feel that the people who are closest to you are the ones who resist the most as you try to change for the better? Sometimes, when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members or others who are close to us will do everything they can to try and get us to change back to the way we were – even when the way we were wasn’t so great.

Did you ever wonder why that might be?  Well, for one thing, when people are used to heir lives being a certain way, any change – even when it is an improvement – can be threatening. It is also fairly common for people who are stuck in negative habits to have a hard time tolerating others who are making positive efforts towards change.

If you can convince your family to join you in your quest for personal growth, you will all have an easier time of it. You can support each other through the tough times and give each other encouragement and approval as you begin to see results.

If you have no choice but to go through it alone, let those significant others in your life in on what you are trying to do, and tell them how positive results will benefit them  well as you. Paint them a vivid word picture of what the end-result will look like, and ask for their help in achieving it.

If you don’t get that help, be patient. It may take time to convince them that you are serious, and that you intend to stay close to them even though you are changing. They may be waiting for proof before allowing themselves to believe you. Belief without evidence is difficult even in the best of times, with the best of people.

If it ever comes down to the difficult choice between continuing a painful relationship and developing yourself as a person, remember that you always have the right to choose growth without guilt. If you want to do better for the world, then you first need to do better by and for yourself.
Looking after yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity; if you want to be, do and have everything you want in your life.
Linda Sage
Mentor, Speaker, Author

 

Life’s Survivors

July 14, 2017 Leave a comment

When times get tough, some people fold and some are made even stronger. Did you ever wonder why some people seem to be able to handle life better than others? Everyone likes to think that they have what it takes to survive adversity and tough times, but when the chips are down, some of us definitely do better than others.
 achieverThe real survivors in life (not the participants in the “reality” survivor TV shows that only seem to bring out the worst in human behaviour) have developed personalities that allow them more options. They also have a strong and clear intention to survive, and to do it in good shape. When problems or setbacks occur, they don’t waste time complaining and they don’t dwell on the past or what they’ve lost. Instead, their energies are focused on getting things to turn out well.

Survivors believe that, no matter what happens to them, they are the ones who are in charge of their destinies. They don’t get mad at the world for not treating them better. And they do have an extensive menu of behaviours they can choose from, depending on the situation. In other words, survivors are option thinkers with a growth mindset, instead of black and white, either/or thinkers who get by with a fixed mindset.

get up again  Survivors also have a wonderful ability to laugh at adversity because they know that even if they lose everything else, they will still have themselves. People with survivor personalities can walk confidently into the unknown because they expect to find a way to make things work out.

So, if you want to be a true survivor, try focusing your attention less on safety and security and more on developing positive beliefs and expectations, built on a firm foundation of reinforced self-esteem.

Here’s to your success
Linda Sage
Helping compassionate people, care for themselves.

Resiliency a Foundation Block


resilience Have you ever thought about what it takes to bounce back from life’s downturn Today, let’s talk about how to handle those inevitable setbacks that occur from time to time.
 
No matter how hard we may try, life isn’t perfect. Every day cannot be sunny, our relationships with others cannot always be smooth – and let’s face it, sometimes work is more of a pain than a pleasure. However, it is how we react to those less-than-perfect situations that show us how far we have grown as human beings.
 
Since most of us spend a significant portion of our lives at some form of workplace, let’s use work as an example. Suppose something has gone drastically wrong, and the whole place looks like everyone is awaiting execution. No one looks up for fear of being called to account for the disaster. The talk around the water cooler is negative, and unless something is done, the entire organisation begins down the slippery slope of the Downward Spiral.
 
What to do? First, a conscious effort must be made to ensure the organisational self-talk is positive and reaffirming. Your talents and expertise are valued by the organisation, and the work you do is important. Second, the organisation must get beyond the current “disaster” and begin focusing on the future, when the problem no longer exists. And third, forget trying to point fingers and assign blame. As the Blue Angels say, “Fess up, fix it, and move on.”
 
  affirmations  Affirmations are the most important tool in your Personal Disaster Relief Kit.
 
As you may know, affirmations are simply  present-tense statements of fact – about the future. Affirmations are usually most effective when they are personal, but you cannot beat an organisational affirmation that has total buy-in from everyone. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” so to speak. It becomes the organisation’s “vision” for tomorrow, and leads you through to success.
 
For yourself personally, you must believe that your contribution to the organisation is valuable. “I am valued by leadership for my talents and expertise.” “I am comfortable expressing my thoughts in meetings, because I know what I have to say is valuable.” As a group, when faced with a challenge, you might affirm, “No matter what gets thrown at us, we hit it out of the park.”
 
The important thing is to have your mind firmly fixed on the future, the future without the current challenge. Remember, your subconscious mind moves you toward the most dominant picture. If all you are thinking about is the current “disaster,” then you won’t be able to move forward. Keep affirming daily the way you want the future to be, paint it vividly in your mind, and keep your personal self-talk and your group self-talk aimed at a positive future.
We have looked at the value in personal resiliency, and we used the workplace as an example. Now, let’s take what we have been looking at, and transfer it to succeeding through natural disasters.
 
Every year, the world sees its share of natural disasters, from earthquakes and landslides, to tornados, monsoons and floods. In each instance, the aftermath has been almost unbearable to watch. What happened was outside immediate human control. Nothing we can do – at least at this point in time – can prevent natural disasters like these. All we can do is be as prepared as possible for the unknown.
 
For most cities, counties, states and nations, we prepare for the practical response. Seattle,  sits in the Pacific Ocean’s “Rim of Fire,” they prepare for earthquakes, severe weather and flooding. Seattle’s “3 Days, 3 Ways” programme helps residents prepare to take care of themselves – to survive – for three days.
 
While the practical approach takes care of the body’s need to survive, we also need to take care of how our minds approach coping with disaster. Rebounding from disaster takes a conscious effort to control our self-talk in order to remain positive. Looking beyond ourselves, by helping others, is a great assist in aiding our own positive self-talk. Making the effort to visualise what our worlds will look like, once the current situation is fixed, provides a path to follow.  Reinforcing that vision with positive affirmations goes a long way towards avoiding the pitfalls of a downward spiral.
 
get help  One more thing: Let others help you, as you help others. The sense of a community working together to solve a problem is a powerful thing. We are stronger together than we are alone, no matter what the obstacle.
Here’s to your success.
Linda Sage
Helping individuals rest their mindset for success.

Do You Know People Who Need Help to Change?


book launch

I relocated from Saudi to the UK in January this year, since I have launched Successful Mindset Ltd, many opportunities have arisen and I am working on some exciting projects helping individuals successful deal with stress and find balance in their lives.

I have decided to re-vamp, re-edit, add to and re-launch my first book Personal Coaching for Change, the new version will be Personal Change Made Simple.

I will still be targeting personal and professional change in small proactive steps, but in the 6 years since Personal Coaching for Change was launched, a lot has changed. So, I thought it better to reinvent this book. I am aiming for the 19th July launch to celebrate with the original publishing date.

I am asking you if you would be willing to share the new book information with your friends and followers, maybe allow a guest blog from me, or write a review. For all the releases I will do the work and send them to you, if you agree to read the book and write a review I will send you an e-version or hard copy depending on timing and your preference.

If you can think of any clubs, groups or organizations that would be interested in this book, I would welcome any suggestions.

I will appreciate any help and support you can offer. Please let me know what area you feel you would be able to help with:

Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, Twitter, You Tube, emailing, blogging, reviewing.

Many thanks.

Here’s to your success.

Linda Sage MA, BA(Ed) Hons.

www.lindasage.com

Back to Beginnings

March 6, 2017 Leave a comment

Twelve and a half years ago in 2005, I left an Autumnal Kent, in the south east of England for sunnier climates on the Costa Blanca in Spain. I was unhappy in myself, unhappy in my relationship and totally pretending to myself that another location would change everything

Moving to my dream home, with an amazing private pool, secluded behind masses of bougainvillea, well established orange and lemon trees, plus huge Yaka trees with points as deadly as any finely crafted sword. I felt safe to put on a swimsuit and lay for a restful afternoon by my own pool.

Little did I know that this innocent act was to change me, my life and those around me.

My relationship with partner of over five years had crumbling over time, but I was in denial. My work in the UK had been in some of the highest security prisons, dealing on a daily basis with sex offenders and serial killers. The last thing I needed was to feel attractive, as it would make me vulnerable, I drove many miles, sat behind many desks and slept in many hotel rooms. My eating habits had gone from poor to horrendous, petrol station snacks and family packs of sweets for company.

Whenever I was at home, I was tired, listless and grumpy, not that I even realized it then. I cancelled many social events through frustration and self-berating, nothing felt right, I was better off alone. My partner had no weight issues, so that made it worse, eat what you like and never put an ounce on, why was life so unfair!!! By this time, I ignored all the mirrors in the house and a camera sent me into an anxious dash in the opposite direction.

Running away to Spain, seemed like a good idea at the time, but like all running away, whatever you have in your head… you take with you. I was no different.

That fateful day 22nd October, 2005 my daughter took a photo of me asleep by the pool (something that would never have happened had I been awake!). Later on she came to show me the picture, I was absolutely astounded, who was this huge, old person in the photo? Then she tells me she has posted it on Facebook to circumnavigate the globe!!! I was in tears, I was angry, and  I was blaming her, this lasted for 10 days before I realized it was me I was angry at. How could I have ever let myself get to this? Why did I not see it? Denial  is a wonderfully comfortable place to dwell; but it is not reality.

I finally apologized to her, realized I needed help and determined to change. This was the second miracle, because through my change and development I grew a business and my own self esteem. This poor relationship and being treated badly, was unacceptable – as I knew I was worth more. With my reducing weight and measurements, my confidence and self belief grew and because I expected better for me, others treated me in a more respectful way.

A journey of many ups and downs, many firsts like going to a gym,  waiting five decades to buy my first pair of jeans. Getting the confidence to stand up and speak to others, appear on radio and TV talk shows. Wrote my first book in 2011 Personal Coaching for Change, and the second From a Whale to a Woman, about my journey out of the battle of the bulge to be a happier, healthier person.

from-a-whale-to-a-woman

The best part about this whole journey has been the thousands of people I have helped along the way. There are so many people suffering in silence, sabotaging themselves, and putting up with a life that is less than they are worth, just because they feel they are not good enough to deserve better.

I have just returned to the UK after many years living and working abroad, starting anew, made me realize that I too should return to my roots. Helping and supporting people to be, do and have whatever it is they want in their lives.

Battling obesity is a trillion dollar industry, with magical cures and fabulous overnight remedies, these are not realistic, they set you up to fail – again! I do not prescribe to one weightloss package, many work for a variety of people, but one thing is sure, that until you set your mind to change, be different, none of them will work.

I will take a bet, that most people have several weightloss, healthy lifestyle books on their shelves, various appliances in their kitchen for healthier cooking and even a selection of fitness exercising items, that never get taken out of the cupboard. This is not to mention the sliding scale of clothes sizes in their wardrobes.   Sound familiar…….

There is just 7 inches of space to conquer, that is the space between your right and left ear, once this is done, the rest is easy. Food is not the issue, your attitude and beliefs about it are the problem. Change them and change your life.

From a Whale to a Woman is a proactive book, but nothing works alone, effort, support and determination must go with it, so I am going back to basics and offering a free 20min consultation to get you started once you have ordered your book via http://bit.ly/Book-CoachingOffer and I will arrange to speak to you personally about what you want to achieve.

from-a-whale-to-a-woman

Don’t settle for less, be your very best and make the most of your life from today.

You are not alone, nor are you the only person on the earth to feel that way, but there is an answer and I can help you find it.

Be happy, be healthy, but most of all be honest with yourself, you are worth the best.

Make Your Permanent Changes in 21 Just Days

August 19, 2016 Leave a comment

choose to change     Are you struggling to lose weight, or make changes for a better you? Start with great intentions and as the day(s) go on you slip and then beat yourself up?  Sign up now at bit.ly/2b47D7F  and  join me from Monday 22nd August for a 21 day Change Challenge, it is not about any specific diet, it is all about feeling better, making changes for the better.

One thing is for sure, the twenty one days will come and go, will you be the same, weigh more; or join me to change.

I am going to do this for my change in career direction, but whatever your reason you can be supported. It is all FREE, we can all look better, feel better and become self accountable. Sign up via my website bit.ly/2b47D7F and I will send you a link to a closed Facebook Support Group page, here I will share everyday for 21 days motivational thoughts, support each other with personal progress and ask any questions to help you on your journey.

goals

FREE Mutual Support

  • No enforced diet
  • No judgements
  • No failures

Yes to:

  • Make practical changes to see results
  • Build personal accountability
  • Move towards your personal goals

With the Closed Support Group you can feel free to share your fears, worries and stumbling blocks, get feedback and support from like minded people. No exaggerated expectations, just realistic and real personal journeys.

What have you got to lose….. and what do you have to gain?

Join me bit.ly/2b47D7F and see where we will be in just 21 days starting 22nd August until the 12th September.

Woo hoo!  I am very excited to share this journey, as I know from personal experience that the battle of the bulge is often a very lonely and depressing journey.  Breaking down those barriers is often the first step on the road to achievement.  bit.ly/2b47D7F

Linda

Breaking Out of Your Prison

September 30, 2015 Leave a comment

Imagine living in your bathroom, with a large lock on your door and maybe getting one hour of freedom every now and then to feel the sun on your face and any sense of happiness.   Not a life you fancy? Well, luckily most “everyday” people never have to spend time in any type of governmental prison.

However, no babies are born with any type of negativity, phobias, or hatred of themselves or others, all of it is learnt over time and experiences.  We all build our own personal prisons on a daily basis, brick by brick. Every situation, experience and moment makes us think and feel, these build up our beliefs and habits.

When I was young, my parents still had the mammoth experience of living through World War II, fresh in their minds, the struggles, rations and even hunger.  So, with their nurturing nature, food was a huge part of my formative years.  From a chubby toddler, to a chunky child provided me with many opportunities to form negative beliefs about myself, my body and even my abilities related only to the numbers shown on a scale.  Fat is an illogical motive for anything, but there are multi-millions of dollars being made all over the globe on the irrational beliefs of people.  The river of tears, the negative self-talk and low self-esteem  for me and millions of others  have all gone to form very high, very solid walls that we can hide behind.

Living behind these prison walls can offer some protection against hurt, pain and insecurities, but at the same time, they keep out happiness, friendship and love.  Breaking out of these prisons usually is  not a one  time process, it takes time to replace one belief for another, but think about those babies and remember everything we believe to be true, are beliefs that we have gained.  We can choose to challenge those beliefs if they are no longer helpful in our lives.

Each unhelpful belief that is challenged lets a little more light through that thick wall around us, until the balance of light and dark changes and in turn so does our outlook.  Unfortunately, every adult has gained some form of prison, negative beliefs about themselves, the good news is that everyone no matter what age, colour, creed or gender can choose to change.  The first step is to realise that change is possible and necessary to living a more fulfilling life, whatever your dreams or goals are.

Self-development is an ongoing process a little bit like following the “Yellow Brick Road to the land of Oz,”   there will be obstacles, twists and turns, but the journey is all part of your change experience.  Just like Dorothy, finding people to join you on your journey is also important. Losing the negative wizards around you and finding positive ones enhances every stage of your progress.

Is change scary? Yes, of course.  Is change hard work? Yes, of course. Is change worthwhile? Yes, of course.   All there is now is for you to make the choice to change, then your new chapter starts.