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Posts Tagged ‘breaking out of prison’

Taking an Honest Look

November 5, 2017 Leave a comment

Most of us are pretty sharp when it comes to noticing other people’s imperfections and faults, but not always about our own. Some people have the mistaken idea that those of us with high self-esteem think that they are perfect. But the truth is that high self-esteem people don’t think they are perfect. However, they are continuously looking for ways they can improve.

It is people whose self-esteem is shaky who are threatened by looking at their imperfections and weaknesses. They don’t want to know about their problems, because then they may have to actually do something about them and, unfortunately, they don’t feel very effective when it comes to solving problems.
People with high self-esteem know that awareness of a problem is the first step towards solving it. However, they don’t get bogged down in the problem. They have a clear vision of what it will look like when the problem is fixed, and that is what they keep uppermost in their minds. They don’t beat themselves up when they make mistakes. Instead, they use mistakes as teachers and learn from them.
Also, they are used to taking a personal inventory, and they feel competent and capable when it comes to doing what needs to be done to improve themselves and their behaviour. Even when they are not sure exactly how they will do it, they don’t let that stop them because they are confident that they can find a way…and they usually do.
As difficult as it may seem, at first, there is great value when we take an honest look at ourselves. So, gather up your courage and take that look in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see, you do have the power to change it.
Don’t give up your accountability to, “that’s just like me,”  “that’s how I am,” “that’s the way I have always done it.”  All excuses for a comfortable life, living in denial is convenient, but not always healthy.  If you want a different outcome, you need different actions.  The buck stops – here!
Linda Sage
Successful Mindset Ltd.

Can You See What is Right in Front of You?

September 30, 2017 Leave a comment

keysDo you know what Scotomas are? Everyone has them and they can keep you from seeing the opportunities all around you.

So, what exactly is a “Scotoma?” A scotoma is what doctors call the defect that blocks sight in one part of our visual field. It is also a term we use to describe our occasional failure to see what is right in front of us because we build our own Scotoma, a mental blind spot, to it. And we can create Scotomas for all of our senses.

You see, for the most part, we see what we expect to see or what we look for. We also hear what we expect to hear, taste what we expect to taste, smell what we expect to smell, and sense what we expect when we touch something soft or hard or scratchy. In other words, Scotomas work on our sensory perceptions. So, we do not see, hear, taste, smell or feel what is really there.

What we expect to see/hear/taste/smell/touch is determined by our beliefs about reality. If we believe the world is a hostile, unfriendly place, we will see evidence to support that belief everywhere we look. But if we believe people are basically good and that the world is a supportive, friendly place, then that is what we will see and experience.
Have you ever been in a hurry to get out and you just cannot find your keys?  You look everywhere, in a frenzy get more and more frustrated and then somebody comes along and says, “Are these, what you are looking for?”    You just know they must have had them all along, as they were not there when you looked.  You grab the keys and march off.  This is a scotoma in practice.

Our beliefs are mostly a matter of how we have been conditioned, often since birth. But once we become adults, it is possible to become aware of our conditioning, our belief systems, and even our Scotomas.  Sometimes, when we discover our Scotomas, when we realise that our conditioning has led us in the wrong direction, it can be quite the jolt to our psyche.

The good news is that we can choose to expand our consciousness, remove our blind spots, and adopt beliefs that will help us grow instead of clinging to expectations and attitudes that keep us suspicious and our worlds small. By the simple act of making this choice, we actually start the wheels turning toward a better future.

By daily affirmation of goals that support our commitment, we become top-notch Scotoma Busters – and that is when we really start to grow!

What are you waiting for…. now is a good time to start.

Here’s to your success.

Linda

http://www.lindasage.com

 

 

Caring for the Caregiverds – New Book Review

September 9, 2017 Leave a comment

Please can you have a look at and review the preview of my new book Caring for the Caregivers, dedicated to all individuals who are suffering themselves looking after others.
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Feel free to pass it on to anyone you know it may help.

Purpose = Energy

September 6, 2017 Leave a comment

 hope     How is your energy level? Do you sometimes wish you had more get-up-and-go? Today let’s look at how high-energy people get that way 

Why is it that some people seem to have a never-ending supply of energy? They get up feeling eager to get started and they radiate good spirits and high energy all day long. Have you ever stopped by the vitamin counter at the pharmacy, wondering what you could take to get that kind of energy? 

 Consider this: Assuming you are in good health, your strength and energy will come from having meaningful and clear lifetime goals. In other words, a purpose in life. You see, high-energy people know what they want and have an unshakable belief that what they want is possible. They have a purpose that they have chosen freely, and they set goals and develop action plans to help them achieve that purpose. 

mindset + behaviour   We mentioned earlier some studies that showed the elderly, with a specific goal or purpose, lived longer than those who did not. You have probably proven to yourself how energetic you have felt when you had even a short-term goal, perhaps a yard work chore like pruning a hedge or putting in a rockery. Even if you hadn’t slept the night before, with the goal at hand, you found yourself with the energy to get the job done. (Now, you may have started losing energy as you were nearing the end of the job, but that’s another story!)

What is your purpose? When it comes to energy, it doesn’t matter so much what you want, as long as you want something. You’d be surprised how energised you can become once you know the answer to this question. When you have chosen your purpose, and you have a clear idea fixed firmly in your mind of what it is you want to be and do, you will be surprised at how your energy level will grow to help you find ways to get there. 

You will become very resourceful and creative, and you will discover that having a purpose is the best vitamin in the world! So, what is your purpose in life?

Linda Sage.
Caring for the caregivers

Find Your Purpose for Living

August 24, 2017 Leave a comment

passion  Do you believe that having a purpose in life is important?  Having a purpose contributes a great deal to the quality of our lives. Not surprisingly, having a purpose can actually prolong your life. 

Several years ago, a study done by Judith Roden of Harvard followed two groups of patients in a convalescent home. Members of one group were asked to care for a potted plant during that time. Members of the other group had no such purpose. Those who were plant caretakers lived, on average, twice as long as the others did. You see, a sense of purpose fosters hope, self-motivation and positive feelings about oneself and others.

Viktor Frankl, in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” found this same result during his time in Nazi concentration camps during WWII. Purpose, or goals if you will, provided the will to live.

How many examples can we see, when purpose is absent or taken away, that life ceases. Veteran broadcaster Andy Rooney passed away one month after leaving CBS’ “60 Minutes” programme. Bear Bryant, iconic coach of Alabama’s football team for 24 years, passed a mere 28 days after retiring. Retiring something may have been the catalyst. 

fear1     Now it is important to remember that, if it’s going to be truly meaningful, your life’s purpose must be something that is chosen freely by you, not something that is chosen for you. And it may have nothing whatever to do with what you do for a living, although, if it does that would be ideal. 

Have you thought about what your purpose is? Have you tried to put it into words? If not, take the time to do so, and then use that purpose as a compass to guide your activities.  You will be surprised at how much energy and clarity you’ll feel.

By the way, age has nothing to do with finding purpose in your life; and if you are wondering when you can start – well, today will do just fine!

Here’s to your success.
Linda Sage
Caring for the caregivers

Nearest and Dearest

August 9, 2017 Leave a comment

emb7  Do you ever feel that the people who are closest to you are the ones who resist the most as you try to change for the better? Sometimes, when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members or others who are close to us will do everything they can to try and get us to change back to the way we were – even when the way we were wasn’t so great.

Did you ever wonder why that might be?  Well, for one thing, when people are used to heir lives being a certain way, any change – even when it is an improvement – can be threatening. It is also fairly common for people who are stuck in negative habits to have a hard time tolerating others who are making positive efforts towards change.

If you can convince your family to join you in your quest for personal growth, you will all have an easier time of it. You can support each other through the tough times and give each other encouragement and approval as you begin to see results.

If you have no choice but to go through it alone, let those significant others in your life in on what you are trying to do, and tell them how positive results will benefit them  well as you. Paint them a vivid word picture of what the end-result will look like, and ask for their help in achieving it.

If you don’t get that help, be patient. It may take time to convince them that you are serious, and that you intend to stay close to them even though you are changing. They may be waiting for proof before allowing themselves to believe you. Belief without evidence is difficult even in the best of times, with the best of people.

If it ever comes down to the difficult choice between continuing a painful relationship and developing yourself as a person, remember that you always have the right to choose growth without guilt. If you want to do better for the world, then you first need to do better by and for yourself.
Looking after yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity; if you want to be, do and have everything you want in your life.
Linda Sage
Mentor, Speaker, Author

 

Life’s Survivors

July 14, 2017 Leave a comment

When times get tough, some people fold and some are made even stronger. Did you ever wonder why some people seem to be able to handle life better than others? Everyone likes to think that they have what it takes to survive adversity and tough times, but when the chips are down, some of us definitely do better than others.
 achieverThe real survivors in life (not the participants in the “reality” survivor TV shows that only seem to bring out the worst in human behaviour) have developed personalities that allow them more options. They also have a strong and clear intention to survive, and to do it in good shape. When problems or setbacks occur, they don’t waste time complaining and they don’t dwell on the past or what they’ve lost. Instead, their energies are focused on getting things to turn out well.

Survivors believe that, no matter what happens to them, they are the ones who are in charge of their destinies. They don’t get mad at the world for not treating them better. And they do have an extensive menu of behaviours they can choose from, depending on the situation. In other words, survivors are option thinkers with a growth mindset, instead of black and white, either/or thinkers who get by with a fixed mindset.

get up again  Survivors also have a wonderful ability to laugh at adversity because they know that even if they lose everything else, they will still have themselves. People with survivor personalities can walk confidently into the unknown because they expect to find a way to make things work out.

So, if you want to be a true survivor, try focusing your attention less on safety and security and more on developing positive beliefs and expectations, built on a firm foundation of reinforced self-esteem.

Here’s to your success
Linda Sage
Helping compassionate people, care for themselves.